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    Something happened via email yesterday morning that made me sort of snap! I turned down a person for a date. I mean, we are so desperate and all. Why would I turn him down? I almost wrote it all and sent it out last night, but I decided I need to cool off first. This was after a very rude string of back and forth emails with someone very hate filled that I turned down for a date.

    I decided to cool down and wait 24 hours before I blurted it all out here. I am getting so mature in my old age. I loved these men to pieces and they loved me back. Total unconditional love and everyone should be loved as well as I have been loved. Truly amazing men who were great friends, fantastic supporters of mine and some of my best cheerleaders for all of my crazy business ideas.

    Men that treated me like a goddess and that always made me feel beautiful and sexy. Just so blessed in that department so I have no complaints.

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    And, for the most part, the online dating adventure has been exactly that. But, there have been a few interactions that have gone really really bad. I mean, like really bad. All because I am fat. Now, I am certain that this sort of thing happens to women of all sizes and shapes.

    Probably not just to fat women. It is so fascinating how one moment someone is basically begging me to go on a date with them and then the next minute, after I politely turn them down, that it turns so ugly. I never even met this person.

    And, to think I almost did. Frightening and bone chilling. Women who spend any time online know about all of the trolls and all of the shamers. You can be a size 2 and get plenty of hate mail and comments.

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    When you are fat woman online, you get fun stuff like this: And, I do believe in full disclosure. So all of my online profiles include some verbiage that I am NOT looking to hook up or for a booty call. I am so grateful you will fuck me! They all have such great personalities!

    I mean, I do have a sparkling personality!

    No One Wants to Date the Fat Girl


    I am picky and I am not desperate you moron. I would MUCH rather be alone and lonely then with some dickhead and lonely. Could we maybe meet first before you start telling me all about your junk. Maybe because I am so straight forward on my ads so then only men who are feeling me, reply? I think once you become an adult, you become more interested in the WHOLE person and not the shell that person is in, ya know? That has been my experience.

    In real life, I have never had any men not to my face anyway say anything negative about my big body… and have you seen my butt? I have certainly had lots of mean shit said to me online by the fat shamers and the trolls and now by these men that I denied a first date to. But, never to my face. If they criticize you and put you down, you need to break up with them right away. That includes family, too. There are way too many amazing, uplifting people in the world to spend your days with those ass hats.

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    Do not reply back with witty comments about their sad, pitiful life — no matter how good it might feel. And, when you get someone who is being rude via text or your cell phone — do NOT delete their telephone number from your phone.

    Just a few tips from my friend who deals with this kind of bullying and threats a lot.
    March 11, How many dating sites are out there at this point? There seem to be hundreds. I know folks who have met their partners on Match. The idea behind Bumble, a newer dating app, where only women can send the first message, intrigues me. Another new app, WooPlus, features plus-size men and women and their admirers. So many sites and apps to choose from!

    In fact, I encourage you to explore and see which ones feel welcoming or fun. But the one I recommend is OKCupid. Whatever sites, apps, and dating strategies you put your energy into, make sure OKCupid is a part of your dating portfolio. Not two percent, or 0. So how do you find these rare fellas? But OKCupid has a way so simple, it almost seems too easy. You use the match questions. OKCupid has this feature where you answer hundreds of personal questions about yourself.

    It takes your answers and sends them straight to the NSA. It takes your answers and inputs them into its evidence-based algorithm in order to find your perfect-fit matches.

    Now, there are ways to make this system really work well for you. Just a side note: This can be discouraging at first. When I see one, I click off his profile and never look back. On to the next! OKCupid features both picture and personality. One of the lessons in my Plus-Size Dating Starter Course walks you through the process of setting up a simple profile — check it out.

    Those swipe-right, swipe-left sites are just much simpler to set up. And that is so true, my friend! It can be so tempting to draw from that trove of old photos from back when you were a size 12 or whatever, squeezed into those straight-size slacks and just gleaming with self-confidence. Unfortunately, old, out-of-date pictures lead to some awkward and downright bad dates.

    You need gorgeous, current action shots of yourself doing the things you love, right now, in your plus-size body. And those sites that use only a photo as the jumping-off point for a love connection? It can be too hard for us to resist the temptation to post that photo of ourselves from five years ago. And fellas will choose to contact us knowing nothing about us except what we look like.

    It goes both ways: You want the right guy. You want to have more to go on, too. How do I know so much about how to game the system and make OKCupid work for you? Because they do outcomes research! What kind of main profile photo is most likely to result in you receiving an email? How do you increase the chances of you meeting a good-fit guy through the site? You answer the questions in a specific, patterned way.

    In fact, they know that it works better at its purpose than any other dating site: You can use a few cool hacks to make OKCupid work better for you. OKCupid is quick to brag about its evidence-based algorithm for matching people up. You want to follow these three rules: So as weird as it may seem, you might schedule some time to just click on random profiles while binge-watch House of Cards, just to work on increasing the number of guys in your match network. There are a few more tricks, all of which are covered in the full Curvy Cupid Course.

    But the point is, OKCupid provides a massive data set just ripe for you to mold it to your advantage. You gotta go for the bigger set of guys. So they just get more subscribers than paid sites, which is a big advantage for you! So there you have it, the five reasons why OKCupid should definitely be in your dating strategy. No harm in playing around with any sites or apps that strike you as interesting, but be sure to also set up an OKCupid profile and schedule some time to make it work for you.

    Heck, make it simple on yourself. Just sign up for OKCupid to start. Remember that dating is a marathon, not a sprint. And remember to have a good support system at your back!

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