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    Paid Subscription Sites By Susan Borowski Share Tweet6 Pin Comments16 Being divorced for several years, I have tried my hand at online datingexperimenting with a number of different sites, and I know from experience that for someone new to the process, it can be rather intimidating and confusing.

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    You might be wondering which site is best for you, and if you should bother paying for a membership or not. To help answer that question, keep the following in mind: PlentyofFish also offers a personality test to better match you with others. Browsing is further customizable by utilizing basic search or advanced search which narrows your parameterssearching by username, or by searching for those looking for the same type of relationship as you.

    Free Chat and Emails. Communication with other users on PlentyofFish is incredibly simple — you can chat for free, as well as send and receive emails. You can even set the parameters for who can email you.

    For example, you can choose an age and geographic range, specify that they must not be married, are nonsmokers, and so on.

    Users Can Rate Your Picture. You may see this as a benefit or a drawback. However, a higher rating allows you to be viewed more often and more positively by other members. It goes without saying that you want the picture you post to be one of your best.

    While technically a free site, PlentyofFish offers you the option to purchase a membership upgrade. PlentyofFish has spun off a new dating site called eVowwhich is only for those seriously looking for a long-term relationship. Examples of the questions include: Which is more important to you, sex or true love?

    Is your astrological sign important to you? Could you date someone who is very messy? Would you consider an open relationship? How important is religion in your life?

    You can set your answers to be publicly available, or you can choose to set all or some to private. By continuing to answer questions, you actively update your profile, which leads to more views.

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    OkCupid also features quizzes created by members, which can help you determine if someone is a match for you — just be aware that some can be rather x-rated. If your image gets high enough ratings often enough, the site says they will make your profile more visible to other highly rated members.

    Free Chat and Messaging. Communication is possible via live chatting or messaging someone on the site. In fact, you can search for friends, penpals, people to casually date, to date short-term, or to just hook up with. Also like PlentyofFish, you can upgrade to a paid membership, which provides ad-free browsing, preferential placement in search results, storage of up to 5, messages, and anonymous browsing.

    Paid Subscription Dating Sites If you have no interest in casual dating and are looking for a more meaningful relationship, you may want to subscribe to a paid site. Keep in mind, many paid dating sites often run promotions, such as free weekends or a price cut on subscriptions.

    One benefit of Match. The cost to join Match. It is similar to Match. Unlike other dating websites, Zoosk requires you to upload a photo, and it can integrate information from your other social networking accounts to create your profile.

    Also, while free members can browse, wink, and respond to emails they receive, they cannot initiate emails. However, upgrading to premium status allows you to chat and send emails to any other members.

    The cost of eHarmony in the U. Subscribers take a personality test and are matched with other subscribers based on the results. Our Time Our Time is a site specifically for singles over 50 looking for a serious relationship, and has been steadily growing in popularity.

    Our Time is yet another site originated by the creators of Match.

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    However, like Match, you can choose your own matches, and it also allows searches for same-sex relationships. Group-Specific Sites There has been an explosion of group-specific sites in recent years, aimed at people of specific age groups, religions, belief systems, ethnicities, and even financial means. By browsing a group-specific site, you might have more luck finding like-minded people. Some group-specific sites include:
    Now in my 40s, after my time in the City, I worked as a dealmaker for a large, ambitious internet company in the US, before realising a long-held dream of becoming a published author.

    More than half the UK population is now single, according to the Office for National Statistics, and the largely unregulated dating industry is estimated to be worth hundreds of millions of pounds. Matchmaking services are emerging with increasingly adventurous fee structures — particularly in central London, which has more than its fair share of wealthy singles.

    Discretion and privacy are understandably sought by all involved, making it hard to get a reliable gauge of the success rate of these services before joining — or even indeed how they operate.

    Most of my London social set had settled into family life by the time I returned, and I knew I needed to consider other ways to meet a partner. I soon eschewed online datingwhich struck me as too time consuming and unpredictable. For years, people did not seem to know who they were meeting online, where photos and profiles could be notoriously misleading.

    Then, Tinder came along. Podcast Claer Barrett and guests discuss the costs of premium matchmakingDownload here Wednesday, 25 July, Tinder interacts with Facebookmaking it more likely that you will identify others you know when dating online. I was drawn to the idea of a personalised service that would be discreet yet effective, so I used the web instead to search for a traditional matchmaker. Most matchmakers I came across were clearly seeking wealthy, international clients, typically with offices in Mayfair.

    The one I picked appeared more down to earth, its premises located outside central London. She was well spoken, in her early thirties, attractive and not pushy. Part of my brain began turning: Then, a house call. My matchmaker informed me that, to get to know me, she needed to visit my home.

    Exactly how all this fed into the matchmaking process, I never would come to know, aside from it perhaps confirming that I was good for the fees. Related article Why spend thousands on a matchmaker when there are so many free apps?

    She enjoys walking, family, socialising. Less straightforward was my attempt to get that profile memorialised in the contract somehow. Yet my matchmaker was very good at not using aggressive sales tactics.

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    Take your time; look at other options, she advised, while emailing me teaser profiles: However, matchmaking is different. It deals in affairs of the heart. A contrarian, non-commercial streak in me embraced the romanticism of it all. Certainly I was persuaded that it would be odd, and probably indeed impossible, to pay a financial bounty upon meeting a romantic partner.

    Moving in together, marriage? None of this adequately explains why per cent of the fees needed to be paid up front. This was never convincingly answered, perhaps because my agency never needed to. It would be unfair to call introduction services confidence tricks, but my role in the arrangement increasingly came to feel like that of the mark. There would be no close matches — not even a short-term relationship, let alone anything serious or marriage.

    One of the very first matches was the most promising: But a month later, her calendar miraculously opened up. Within six months, my matchmaker had gone on maternity leave and was replaced by two other staff members.

    Before long, I asked for a partial refund and you can guess how that went. One curiosity throughout these match-made dates was that I, the man, invariably felt an obligation to foot all bar and restaurant bills.

    This was, apparently, the norm in these higher-end dating arrangements: Why should this be, in an era of greater gender equality? Just how unbalanced could things get on this expensive dating journey? I was about to find out. Here, a deeper truth about the way this exclusive dating world works was revealed: There are different theories as to why this is, one being that women are more willing to invest substantially in finding the right life partner, another being the perception of a depleted pool of eligible men in other walks of life.

    Unwittingly I asked whether this was pounds or dollars. It was pounds, of course; we were sitting in a Chelsea pub, not in the West Village.

    Her own eyes narrowed. Finally I offered alcohol. Champagne, that ever reliable pick-me-up. Targeting vs the comfort of crowds Most dates were pleasant enough.

    Indeed, two women became friends. Matchmakers meet clients in person for just a couple hours of their lives, and feedback given after each date does little to alter this reality. Understandably, everyone wants to put their best side forward on paper and in photos; profiles tended to be of little use ahead of dates.

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    In exclusive dating as in life generally, much comes down to happenstance. Far more effective for me have been events where it is possible to meet several people on the same night.

    The most promising of all have been activities that I enjoy doing anyway, which include literary events, yoga and travel the Weekend FT is crammed full of suggestions for such activities, should you ever be stuck for candidates. It makes conversation easier as you immediately have something in common with your fellow attendees. One distinctive newcomer in London is The Sloane Arranger, catering to a set that founder Lara Asprey defines as much by shared values as by type of education or physical appearance.

    The Picnic Project is a bespoke agency set up by Suze Cook, a former marketing manager at Microsoft, who spotted ways to improve the dating process while she was single. If we took a fee from every person who contacted us, then we would probably be retired by now. For everybody else, my advice would be to consider your alternatives. And keep your sense of humour. Daniel Pembrey is an author and freelance features writer. Copyright The Financial Times Limited
    When I was 20 years old, I was paid to do just that.

    My duties were simple: Take in the mail. Sit at the front desk and, well… keep the seat warm and try not to fall asleep. I was bored out of my mind. No matter how many times I asked, no one would assign me extra duties. I ended up spending my days on AIM and reading message board after message board after message board.

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    One day, I came across a job posting online — a dating website was looking to hire community managers. I applied, figuring this was something I could do to distract myself while bored at work. Low and behold, I got the job. The job seemed simple enough: Once I had already signed the contract and had finally received full instructions, it hit me: I had just taken a job as dating site bait. Once per day, this website would send messages to men on my behalf.

    Men, however, had to pay. Yeah — pretty bad. A brilliant growth move on their part — but ultimately, just kind of awful and morally questionable. On the first day, I actually thought it was kind of fun. I had received about 70 messages — totally manageable — and spent my day at work typing thoughtful responses to each message.

    Still, nothing too crazy — and it was keeping me occupied. By day three, however, things got… intense. I had received over messages — and in order to keep the gig, I had to respond to each and every message within 24 hours.

    In her words, I was supposed to string them along, get them to keep logging in, and ultimately — make them fall in love with me. The number of messages I received each day grew higher and higher until I was receiving a few thousand messages each day. Each night, some sort of message I never did find out what it was was sent out from my profile to every single man that had ever registered for the site, but had either cancelled their paid membership, or never paid to begin with.

    It was overwhelming — and at this point, things began feeling very, very… skeezy. One in particular that sticks out in my memory was a very persistent 56 year old married doctor who looked like Santa Claus. He lived in Milwaukee, visited Chicago often for business, and wanted to put me up in a luxury apartment on Lake Shore Drive. Unfortunately, no matter how strange or creepy a man was, I had to respond, or I was fired. By the end of the first week, I was feeling downright… dirty.

    A few smart men caught on immediately and became justifiably angry. As creepy as this all was, oddly enough, there were a few positive moments.

    At times, I felt like I was brightening the day of some men that needed it. Most of them began confiding in me about how lonely they felt, which broke my heart.

    Sometimes, there were elderly men who had lost their wife and missed having someone to talk to. Ultimately, it was the men who were extremely lonely that would maintain correspondence with me. What it boiled down to was this: I was essentially a virtual escort for thousands and thousands of terribly lonely men — and a sleazy website was making boatloads of money off of it.

    After a short while, I no longer felt safe. While much of the information I used was fictitious namely, the little details I provided about my day-to-day lifethere was enough real information about me posted on my profile for things to get creepy.

    According to the rules, I had to post at least 10 of my own pictures — and they all had to clearly show my face. Additionally, I had to use my real name and basic info — location, age, etc. There were a few creepy men who became obsessed with finding out my personal information, and would send me message after message trying to guess specifically where I lived, where I worked, etc.

    Before I deleted my profile, I checked my inbox one last time. I had exchanged over 30, messages in the course of three weeks. And yes, this site is still very much in business — although it appears as if they may have dropped this tactic somewhere around after people started to catch wind of this particular dating site secrets and began to threaten legal action.

    I guess this explains why I absolutely hate reading the messages I receive on dating sites — I typically log in, read one or two messages, and begin to panic and log out. Oh, and fear not: Let's take things to the next level. Occasional updates, no BS.

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