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    Tweet Joe Newton I am a year-old gay man with a serious problem.

    My boyfriend of five years has developed a strange fascination. We've always watched porn together, but now he has been looking at straight porn and even lesbian porn!!! More than once he has expressed an interest in having a MMF threesome—and he's a self-proclaimed gold-star gay!

    This week, I discovered he had hidden a Fleshlight from me. I could tell he had used it. What is going on with him? On the other hand, we still have sex pretty frequently. He really gets off when I call his ass a "pussy," which I'll do to turn him on, but I find it pretty weird.

    He also tells me he gets off on the thought of the two of us fucking a woman together.


    This really seems bizarre! Could my beautiful bottom boy be turning bi? If he is, I don't know how we can handle it. Always was bi and only just realized it? Ask your boyfriend if he's bi. He's bi, bicurious, or so homoflexible he could tour with Cirque du Soleil. If you're not interested in having sex with women, tell him so. If being with you means he can never have sex with a woman, tell him so. And if you would never knowingly date a bi guy, tell him he deserves better.

    A relationship question that doesn't involve sex: Occasionally when two people live together, they bump into each other or one may get in the way of the other. Is it reasonable to be put off if rather than simply hearing "Excuse me" when you are inadvertently in someone's way, the person trying to gain access says, "Do you have to stand there?

    People who are assholes to everyone don't deserve intimacy either, of course, but they get points for being consistent. I recently posted an online ad for a jack-off buddy. I got a response from a man who turned out to be a gorgeous, young Sri Lankan dude with a huge, beautiful uncut cock.

    Anyway, I was really looking forward to him jacking me off and vice versa. But when I arrived, he said he was only interested in me giving him a massage and then a handjob. Apparently, he's a straight guy who wanted to experiment with men in a very limited way. But after he came, I was really aching for release myself.

    But as I stated earlier, he made it clear he did not want to reciprocate. After we were finished, he indicated that he might hit me up again. Do you think I should continue with the massage and "happy ending" in hopes he will someday feel comfortable enough to reciprocate? Or should I just go ahead and find myself another jack-off buddy? I recently spent a wonderful weekend with a young woman from out of town who identifies as queer and poly.

    Kelly Brook racked 14 holidays in the last year with 7 in 3 months Daily Mail Online

    Being the curious guy I am, I had her explain what these things meant to her. She went on to say that she is considering changing from poly to nonmonogamous. I find this confusing. I'm certainly nonmonogamous, but I've never thought of myself as poly. What is the difference? But since you asked: A nonmonogamous person has sex with their partner and others; a poly person has or is open to having committed and concurrent romantic relationships.

    I have two complaints: My problem with the world is that it seems to think it is possible to embrace the rights of sex workers and still stigmatize the men who employ them. I am in a happy monogamish marriage, and I enjoy a very good, vanilla-but-bordering-on-tantric sex life with my wife. Early on, when we discussed how open our marriage should be, we decided it would be all right for me to see escorts several times a year.

    This gives me some sexual variety and keeps her from feeling threatened by my becoming emotionally involved with a third party. She is very mono and has no interest in going outside the marriage for sex.

    My quarrel with you has to do with your oft-repeated advice that people should break things off with partners who don't perform oral sex.

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    My wife doesn't like to give head—and I really don't like getting it from her, since she doesn't like doing it. It is, however, one of the things on my list for my quarterly pro session. So I go down on her, she doesn't go down on me, and I see escorts who do. It Works For Us In regards to your first complaint, IWFU, there are sex workers out there fighting for their rights and fighting the stigma against sex work—along with fighting prohibition, the Nordic Model, and SESTA google it —but you don't see the men who employ them stepping up and joining the fight.

    Gentlemen, I suggest you rethink your current silence, unless you want to be the next one with your name and picture splashed across newspapers, TV screens, and websites. I've also said that you can't be in an LTR without paying the price of admission, and I've said that a lot more often. If not getting oral at home is the price of admission you're willing to pay to be with your wife, and if allowing you to get oral elsewhere is the price of admission she's willing to pay to be with you, then Godspeed, IWFU, and tip the sex workers you patronize and speak up to fight the stigma against doing sex work and hiring sex workers.

    On the Lovecast, "Ask a Fuck-Up!
    Tweet Joe Newton Without snooping, I came across texts between my wife "Mary" and a guy "Jeremy" of a very sexual nature. While I would be okay if she were doing this and I knew about it, this has been going on since before we met. We've been together 10 years. She says she has never met him in person despite communicating with him for more than a decade! Again, if I had known, it would have been fine.

    I'm not okay with her being with other guys, but I know harmless flirting can be a release. Still, I have issues with anxiety and depression, and this is definitely triggering me. I do not want to snoop and I want to trust her, but I am having a hard time with both. Prior to this, it never occurred to me that Mary would do anything that had a whiff of dishonesty about it.

    But her having kept this from me for as long as I have known her has made me question that. I don't want to keep bringing this up to her, but I am struggling with it. What do you think I should do? Easier said than done, I realize, particularly with the twin burdens of anxiety and depression. But if you would have been fine with this had you known—if there was no reason for Mary to hide this LTR-of-sorts from you—the best way to prove that to her is by giving it your retroactive blessing.

    Mary shouldn't have hidden this from you. But she assumed—incorrectly, as it turned out—you would have a problem with those texts. It was a reasonable assumption on her part, since swapping flirty texts with a stranger is regarded as "out of bounds" by most.

    While this makes Mary's failure to disclose look a little worse, we live in a culture that defines absolutely everything as cheating—don't get me started on the idiocy that is "micro-infidelities" and the idiots pushing that toxic concept—and as a consequence, people not only lack perspective oh, to live in a world where everyone regarded harmless flirtation as no big deal!

    Put yourself in Mary's shoes for a moment. When should she have told you about Jeremy? What would you have done if on the third or fourth date, she looked up from her menu and said, "I've been swapping flirty texts with this guy for, oh, the last several years. I have no interest in him in real life, we've actually never even met in person, but I enjoy his texts and would like to keep swapping texts with him.

    I hope that's not a problem. She didn't want to stop, she didn't know how to talk about it, she hesitated, and If there's nothing else—if no other shoes drop—give this your retroactive blessing. I have an unusual situation. I met a girl I am crazy about. She didn't really have any interest in me except for the occasional drink; she just wanted to be friends. A few months later, I saw her at a bar. We drank a bit more than we could handle and slept together, and I thought we would start dating.

    A few weeks went by, and she always had an excuse as to why we couldn't hang out. Then one night, she texted to say she wanted to see me, but I could tell she was tipsy. We went out for a few more drinks and then slept together again. A week later, the same thing happened. When I contact her during the day, she never seems interested. But I run over like a starved dog when she calls at night. Sadly, due to stress and overwork, I usually can't get hard when I go over.

    That's become a big issue. She's very attractive, and I'm surprised she has any interest in me at all, but it's only when she's drunk.

    Besides her looks, I'm attracted by her personality and intelligence. I don't know what attracts her to me except maybe I'm her booty call, but recently I have been terrible at it. The last time we hooked up, she told me she's quitting drinking. Maybe she won't contact me anymore. Is it worth pursuing this if I get my ED situation fixed? Or should I just move on and if she does contact me one night, I just say, "Sorry, not interested"? It's obvious she's using me. But we actually have good conversations despite us both being drunk and it kinda seems like a date of some sort.

    What do you think? Summoned With A Text She's interested in you for only one thing sex and at only one time when she's drunk, horny, and out of other options It's actually not an unusual situation, SWAT—millions of people have received similar summonses. So long as the summoned person doesn't want anything more than sex from the person issuing the summons, Yahtzee: Everybody gets laid, nobody gets hurt. But if the person being summoned wants more—if the summonee has unrequited feelings for the summoner—the summoned person is going to get hurt.

    Because what the summoner is essentially saying is this: So, yeah, stop answering that drunk girl's summonses. Let her know you want more than sex, and if she's not interested in something more, you're not interested in her.

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    As for those erectile issues, SWAT, try having sex sober, earlier in the evening, and with someone who doesn't regard your dick as a consolation prize. I bet they clear right up. I am a transgender man, and my girlfriend is a transgender woman, and we have hit a plateau. Intimate time is rare, communication is minimal, and although I care for her deeply, I do not like her as a person and no longer want to get married.

    I have considered asking if we could open up the relationship, but I doubt that is the solution. How does one end a long-term relationship? Help Relationship Transition Whatever you do, HRT, please—please—don't ask to open up your relationship when what you really want is out. A lot of people who want out do this, and it's why so many people believe all requests to open a relationship are a sign the relationship is doomed.

    Kelly Brook racked 14 holidays in the last year with 7 in 3 months Daily Mail Online

    People who want out but ask for open inevitably get out in the end. People who want open and ask for open and get it tend to stay. But since most couples in open relationships aren't public about it most are more comfortable being perceived as monogamouspeople hear about the insincere requests that preceded a breakup and conclude all requests are insincere.

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    Anyway, HRT, how does one end a long-term relationship? One uses one's words. If "I love you" are the three magic words, then "I'm leaving you" are the three tragic words. On the Lovecast, come hang out with the lesbians of the Lez Hang Out podcast:

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