Sikh dating sites quad

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  • UK's leading dating and matrimonials network for Sikhs
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    How do you uphold your cultural beliefs and try to date at the same time? I am a year-old Indian lad who was born into a Sikh household. Now, I admit I am not particularly strict, especially as I eat meat and drink alcohol but I do follow a lot of the traditions upheld with Sikhism.

    One thing that comes with the religion is dating. Not just the pressure of dating, but the pressure to date someone who is the same religion and caste as you.

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    As my parents adopt this old school mentality, they want me to find a girl not only in the same religion but also from the same caste. This would also result in there being no culture clash that could occur if I was to date someone of a different race or religion and any future child having to grow up with two conflicting view points.

    On the other hand, I have struggled with this in the past, due to me having been brought up in a diverse, multi-racial country where Indian people are a minority. The infamous Tinder is a good example. In the world of a British Indian we are closed books when it comes to dating. Unless we are ready to take the next step of marriage, we usually have to be discreet about our relationships, due to the pressures that will come from our elders.

    Indian culture is based on respect, and girls especially, get it harder as they hold the honour for the family. As my sister says: Only now that I am happily married do I understand why my parents were so keen on me marrying a Sikh. My parents have modernised a bit and would want to me to date before I committed any further but saying that, the pressure is still there to move faster rather then slower.

    Sikhs have divided into castes from birth, which relate to which jobs we did in India back in the day. And while caste issues still exist in dating culture, thankfully, they are slowly dying out.

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    However, one key point to note is that caste discrimination and Sikhism are not hand in hand and are actually two separate entities which just makes the whole thing even more frustrating. Me and a friend often have discussions about caste. He is a Tharkhan and I am a Jatt, and traditionally, my caste is seen as a higher. My friend has an interesting opinion on the matter: But saying that, if I did unexpectedly find The One then I may have to consider something different.

    Only time will tell….
    Personally, I do not see an issue in people of different faiths dating.

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    There certainly is not any direct guidance as such from the sikh rehat or the scriptures. Often with Sikhism punjabi culture is seen as interwined with the religion --of course this is completely incorrect. What your boyfriend is describing is a sort of racism that is unfortunately rampant among punjabis On the other hand, being a minority culture, there is always a tendency to want to protect it. Such protectionism is common among many minority cultural groups.

    In my humble opinion, this does not excuse it but I hope that it at least serves as an explanation. In most cases there will be an immense social stigma for the child not to date outside of the community or to date at all. The fact that traditionally parents chose mates for their children is also partly to blame for the bias against dating. This is of course terribly old fashioned it is very rare for parents to choose their child's mate these days however, again, I hope that it serves as a sort of explanation for where he may be coming from.

    Personally, I wish you the best of luck, and I will tell you that dating is allowed. The above reasons for outlawing dating, are very very thinly stretched out quotes that people intrepret for their own cause. I am not saying that they are wrong, but, Sikhi does not speak on dating. It was not common culture at all to date before marriage back in the day. When Sikhi speaks and states that "do not touch women other than your wife", one must take into account that the only sort of pre-marriage relationships with the opposite sex were along the lines of rape.

    They did not date, and they did not court, all marriages were set up by either parents or some sort of leader. When Sikhi outlaws lust, it does so because at that time, Rape was prominent, and was easily commitable.

    Can you date and not have a relationship that is about sex, or even withold from sex till marriage? I would certainly say so, and I've seen people do it numerous times before, you just both have to be aware and careful. Sikhi never totally speaks on dating, what it does speak on, is lust.

    Can you have lustful intentions with your girlfriend? Can you have sole lustful intentions with your wife? Can you rape your wife? Does it make it all right just because you are married? Sikhi speaks explicitly on lust, can you imply that towards dating?

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    Yes you can, but once again it is implied, as per ones own intrepretation. You can also easily apply it to marriage. Perhaps this is a more liberal meaning than the ones stated above, but I tend to believe the Gurus were aware that the marriage-tradition would change, and hence they spoke explicitly on lust, which can happen at any time in ones life, not just when dating.

    Muslims used to go around villages and select the most beautiful women and then marry them before forcing them to bear their children. Does that mean that these muslims were ok, just because they were married? I wouldn't agree, they are just as lustful if they hadn't married. They married solely for the purpose of lust, which back then was culture. If you date solely for the prupose of lust, you are going against Sikhi.

    But, not if you just date, and are both aware of your future goals concerning lines of sexual intimacy. Therefore, the implied definition of dating is relative to all individuals. Sikhi does speak on such things as lust, so please be aware of that, and try to control at the best of your ability.

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    It does NOT speak on dating, dating was never a topic in Sikhi. It is personal choice and how you handle yourself. I just noticed you were a girl, sorry for replying as if you were a boy.

    Please just replace the words.

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